Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
