i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize