i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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