Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
