from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
