I'd wear matching sweaters with you
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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