I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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