So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
