just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
