textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
