i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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