found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
When did angry sex become our thing?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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