Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The Olympian is in my bed
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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