i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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