I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
