I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
