I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
