you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
