Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It was confusing and full of hummus
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
