If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
