i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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