Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.

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(602): View more from Arizona

making cat noises will not fix the situation.

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(850): View more from Florida

when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?

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(205): View more from Alabama

we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.

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(914): View more from New York

yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness

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(602): View more from Arizona

It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.

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