SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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