U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
