You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
