I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
