I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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