Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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