all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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