Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
