ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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