No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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