If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
