Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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