your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
