But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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