I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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