And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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