He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
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