I think my fart just growled at me.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
