At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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