I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
