Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
