On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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