It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
