sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Four minutes until I can fart!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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