at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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