you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
