Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
