guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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