If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
