shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
