its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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