a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
