I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
