their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
