You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize