guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I need to align my fucking chakras
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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