Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
